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Silly Airline Safety Information Card Tutorial

We feel it's important you understand what the cartoon images are really saying. Thanks for surfing with us and enjoy your flight.

Smoking is a federal offense. To avoid getting caught, do not open the lavatory door until cigarette is fully extinguished.
Any item which is potentially fun is strictly forbidden during the flight.
Can you year me now?
Can you hear me NOW?
If you can look up your own skirt, you may be eligible for free bonus miles. Check with your flight attendant for more information.
Anyone caught pilfering the storage bins will be shot by red arrows.
If the passengers in front of you are annoying, slide your briefcase under the seat to activate the eject mechanism.
If the Sweat Hogs lock Mr. Kotter inside the plane, it is OK to use the emergency latch to exit.
Do not fondle the yellow things. You may only look at them with awe.
Members of "Blue Man Group" have been banned from this airline. If you spot one, please report him immediately so we can eject him from the aircraft.
When the aircraft is travelling by sea, feel free to drop anchor, kick back, and go for a swim.
If you cannot control your children, we will stop this flight and boot you and your brats right off the plane before continuing on to our final destination.
Raftercise is a great way to lose inches and feel great about yourself.
See how much air you can get.

Batman needs oxygen, too.

Don't hog the O2.
We want you to have a great experience flying with us. That's why every plane is equipped with vibrating safety belts.

Passengers in some seats may be required to function as a bombardier.

1. Line up your target during the approach. Report enemy fighters to prevent going down in flames.

2. When the "OK" light is lit, pull the lever to release the munitions.

If you feel that you are unable to perform these tasks for any reason, please request a seating change from your flight attendant.
Fishing can help pass the time while waiting for a water rescue.
Bright colors can be flattering to your figure.
When the Fasten Seatbelts sign is turned off, feel free to move about the cabin or participate in the long jump competition.
If you are breast feeding on the flight, please be discreet about it.
Passengers may be asked to help slow the aircraft during landing.
In the unlikely event of a water landing, mermaids will be waiting to assist you.
Please refrain from using your superpowers during the flight, for your own safety and that of the crew.
Waterskiing is available on some transcontinental flights.
The Partyvest® with built-in straw action will have you flying before the plane even takes off. Nonstop fun for your nonstop flight!
If you are seated next to a screaming infant, bury your head in the seatback and go to your happy place.

Enjoy the flight.

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